The Hunting Beast

What is the funniest hunting memory you have? I will share one from my youth, that I am still harassed about by my Dad and Uncle to this day some 20+ years later. I am not sure if it is entirely appropriate, but everyone always seems to get a good laugh when they hear it, so Here is one of many.

I believe it was the fall of 1986 and my first season ever deer hunting. We didn't grow up with money, so dad couldn't afford to buy me my own camo, so everything was his hand me downs. Of course at 12 everything was gigantic on me. It was still awesome though, I felt like a real man, finally going hunting with my dad and uncle in Switzerland county wearing those solid hunter orange hooded coveralls I had watched my dad leave the house in a thousand times before I was old enough to go with him.
For whatever reason, back in the day we always left our stands and met at the truck for lunch at 10:30am. It was a long trek back to the truck, maybe a half mile, but with short legs and an inseam that hung down past my knees it seemed like 100 miles. I climbed down out of the fork of the tree I had been sitting in at around 10 to meet the fella's for lunch, and as I went along that feeling came. You know the feeling I am talking about. The Uh Oh! I have to do a number two now and I don't mean maybe.

I stopped right there in the knee high cut corn that I was walking in and couldn't hardly get clothes off fast enough. Being my first hunt ever, you would assume that my father would have prepared me for obvious and immediate needs such as carrying a roll of toilet paper. That didn't happen. So I am scrambling to get the clothes off, pull everything down to my ankles and carefully and quickly pull the mound of clothing forward between my legs.
It was a bitter November wind slapping my little cheeks in that field, but that was the least of my problems. Almost instantly feeling relieved I realize the no toilet paper problem. So I literally used a corn cob, and it is everything the old Cliche' says it is. However I was grateful that there was something available to get the job done.
I quickly pull my clothes up and zip my coveralls up and get back on course hoping to warm up from my adventure. As I am walking, I kept getting a whiff of a very distinguishable smell. I checked my boots....nope good there. I checked the legs and sleeves of the coveralls....nope good there. Perhaps the wind was just blowing the smell toward me.
Finally I am approaching the old truck. As customary we would take our coveralls off before we got in, because we would eat with the heat running. I dropped the coveralls again and went to pick them up to place them in the back of the truck, and it was then that I noticed weight. It turns out that I had completely and effectively filled the hood of those coveralls. I can not express in words the embarrassment I felt when my dad and uncle started in on me. However, my greatest gratitude was in the fact that I had not decided to put that hood on. My dad told me I could have those coveralls.

I'm sorry this is too funny!

Indianahunter wrote:It was a bitter November wind slapping my little cheeks in that field

You forgot to calculate your windage!

That right there was funny! Great story and thanks for sharing!

Bless your poor little pea pickin' heart!!! That was hilarious!!!!!! Thanks for sharing!!!!!!

I was at Rivers Edge meat market in Jefferson Sunday registering my deer when a guy pulled up with a nice 120 / 130 class 9 pointer in the back of his truck. He came in and had a mad look on his face. One of the other guys in line looked over at him and said "nice buck" The guy says " I GOT A SCREWED UP STORY FOR YOU GUYS!!!
I am sitting in my stand and that buck comes walking by at 10 yards, coulda whacked em with my bow. I put the cross hairs behind the shoulder and shot him right in the heart. Sucker mule kicks and makes a death run and makes it all the way onto the neighbors land and just as its about to pile up the butthole neighbor shoots him in the head and drops him. Knowing this guy is a raving butthead, I get right down and head over there... Sure enough, buttface has his tag on it already. So I say, HEY! thats my deer! Buttface responds with "my shot dropped him, he is on my property, and your tresspassing. GET OFF MY LAND!!!!
The guy argued his case a little longer and then just gave up as the butthead just grew angrier. So he headed back to his treestand to steam off... After about 15 or 20 minutes he hears sirens coming... Says to himself, that buttbrain better not of called the cops on me!!!
Sure enough the sirens turn into the neighbors driveway then shutoff... So the hunter says, I just new the cops were on the way down the hill, but then the sirens started back up and left... All the sudden this woman is walking down the hill and says "sir, will you field dress "Charlies" buck, he had a heart attack dragging it up to the house and has been taken to the hospital!!!! So Dude, is pissed, but says "ok" and decides to do the right thing. Well he gets done field dressing the buck the guy stole from him and they ask him to register it for the guy that stole it from him... Then the mad looking Dude looks me in the eye and says, "and thats what im doing here now!

That's a crazy story Dan! I don't wish anything bad on the "butthead" but that should definitely been a learning experience for him.

Glad you guys enjoyed my story as well. Keep them coming I am sure everyone has a good story!

I still remember this story it would definitely rank up there for one of the most bizarre stories I have ever heard.

Instant Karma on the guy with a heart attack.

I have an instant karma hunting story for ya.

This was probably 5-6 years ago, a buddie and I were out during rifle season. It had been a while since he got a deer and around the time we just started hunting together.

We're creeping threw some hardwoods and I start getting excited and tell him " there's a deer right there right there!" Pointing my finger out Infront of us. He's all excited "where at I don't see it!"? I start laughing and he doesn't think it's funny.

About 20 min. Later we start heading into some swampy red brush terrain and he pulls his rifle up and starts yelling " big buck big buck" just as I start to call his bluff I hear crashing and splashing and see this giant buck running parallel away from us. I couldn't believe it. We never got a shot at it. But that's pretty much instant karma on my half.

Nice stories!
Mine would be dad missing, wounding, then chasing a turkey on foot. My dad was a track runner, but this guy in full turkey gear hopped a fence in 1 leap and ran this turkey down to hit it w but of a shotgun. That was my first turkey hunting experience... he said he was showing me how NOT to do it.

About twelve years old, trying to get my first deer with a bow after missing a TON of them I'm in my stand on a cold November morning with my dad sitting about 100 yards from me. I have a dandy eight point chasing a doe all around me for close to an hour. I am shaking uncontrollably and just can't get a shot on this dang thing. Well, after a while the doe decides to walk right past me with the buck in tow. I finally get to full draw and everything is going perfect! Just as he is about to step in my lane my dad hits the call button on the two-way radios we have and the buck locks up behind a giant tree with only his neck and head sticking out. I am at full draw, buck locked up doing the head-bob while my dad hollers on the radio..."Hey! What's going on over there?!". I'm silently cursing him under my breath to please just shut up!! After holding for as long as I could I decided to try and squeeze the arrow past the tree at the deer and of course I dead center the tree! After the ordeal my dad comes over to get me and just can't control his laughter. I didn't think it was all that funny!

I took a buddy of mine that was that was hunting about 150 yards from me. I heard him shoot so I waited about 1/2 hour and made my way over to him. He wasn't in his stand so I followed his tracks in the snow and he was following a running set of deer tracks with no blood. I follow for about 10 minutes and see him walking back toward me. I say to him what happened ? He replied I shot a good one I tracked him for about 100yards with great blood but I decided to back out. I asked him where all this blood he was talking about was. And he said can't you see it all? It finally dawned on me my colorblind buddy was tracking mud that was kicked up from the deer under the snow and didn't hit him at all.