Group Accountability

[headgear]

It’s a backpack hunt. Tenting. Hiking in a couple miles to set up camp. We’ve got 3 wilderness areas picked out.

Hopefully he can handle the hike back, after that if he can't keep up then he can hunt close to camp. I'd say give him a shot and see how it goes, there will be other hunts and you should be free to get out and do your own thing.

[KRONIIK]

I've had some great hunts with two other "hard" hunters and one "marshmellow" in camp.
After the first couple days the softie was happy to stay in camp and cook for us.

He gave the hunting his best shot, got his fill of it to his own satisfaction after a couple days and we all ate better later on.

win. win. win. win.

[PK_]

Positive attitude and mental toughness are far more important. But having said that you do have to be in reasonable shape for that kind of hunt. No way around it.

[Rich M]

Spell it out that those who can not keep-up, can catch up. Meaning when you are on animals, if you or anyone else has an issue that impedes the group, that they/you drop back and regroup later. Simple enough.

[vtbuck]

3 of the 4 guys in our group are killing it. The 3 of us post every day our workouts, gear we bought, research we did, etc....
But the 4th guy still ain’t doing anything. It’s been 3 weeks since his last post. We are becoming annoyed.

[justdirtyfun]

I imagine that your hard work is making him close his eyes tighter. Maybe avoiding mirrors also.
If he is a good friend, then offering a casual 'out' opportunity would be decent. At least then the conversation could be less confrontational than 'what have you been doing? '.

[vtbuck]

I’m really starting to think our 4th guy is avoiding our group text.
Maybe I’m wrong but he seems to be hiding from us.

[Dewey]

I’m really starting to think our 4th guy is avoiding our group text.
Maybe I’m wrong but he seems to be hiding from us.

Sounds like he finally figured out he’s in WAY over his head.

[DhD]

Sounds like it is time to take a vote and make it a 3 man group.

[ThePreBanMan]

You already have all the info you need to make a decision..

Your trip is in 4 months (12 weeks)
Your friend is 6’6” and all of 350 lbs.
Your friend is almost 140 pounds overweight!!!!

There is ABSOLUTELY NO WAY he will be in good enough shape for your trip. You can not lose that much weight in that amount of time in any kind of a healthy way. An aggressive healthy weight loss routine would have someone losing about a pound of fat per week. You've got 12 weeks. Even if he started right now, and doubled that healthy weight loss rate, he still would be nowhere close to where he would have to be.

At this point, you just need to break it to him. He hasn't put in the work necessary and consequently, he can't come. I can tell you that if he hasn't been motivated to get in shape, buy gear, etc, he was never all that serious about it anyway.

Now how to break this to him, that I can't help you with. But if he's avoiding you on the topic (ghosting you) then it sounds like he's already made the call for you. At this point, all you have to do is say - "hey man, you were blowing us off so all we could do is assume you weren't coming. We had to make plans that didn't include you."

[vtbuck]

Update:

We tried to call him today.
No answer and his voicemail was full
Hope he’s ok but have no idea what’s going on with him

[BRoth82]

It sounds like you need to have a heart to heart with your 4th member, really try to explain to him what the hike in is going to be like and how much weight he can expect his pack to weight. If it were me I'd cut my losses with your 4th member since I think he would hold you guys back and maybe not enjoy the hunt as much as you could with the rest of the group.

[vtbuck]

Update:

It’s official.
Late last week another member of my group called to see what #4’s deal was.
A message was left and he called him back that night.
He sadly is out. He’s got too many projects and deadlines right now at work. He said he should have let us know sooner and wished he could go.
We said next time.
He also said there better be pics and updates from the mountain.

And so there’s now 3...

[Dewey]

Update:

It’s official.
Late last week another member of my group called to see what #4’s deal was.
A message was left and he called him back that night.
He sadly is out. He’s got too many projects and deadlines right now at work. He said he should have let us know sooner and wished he could go.
We said next time.
He also said there better be pics and updates from the mountain.

And so there’s now 3...

Can’t say we didn’t see that one coming.

[Rich M]

Pretty much - why do folks do stuff like that? Either you can make the commitment or you can't.

You guys will have a good time.